will i see my miscarried baby in jannah

Thank you for posting this, its hard to go through this alone, and reading these womens comments, as well as knowing people who havent been through it truly care, help comfort me somehow. Its unacceptable to have this happen and watch everyone around me blessed with children. When the week was up she wanted to nurse so I thought I would try. =] But they saw that it was an ectopic pregnancy and tried to convince us to have an abortion. Was it because I didnt start prenatal vitamins soon enough? Praise God for little stitches each and every day. What if I don't want to ever see my family or parents for eternity? That tells me that God sees our babies in our wombs and has plans for them. Usually I suffered in silence, pretending I was fine because that was easier than hearing, you can have more or you have (x amount) of healthy children. grow older and old men grow younger, until they are all the same age, the I felt my baby girl had been forgotten. More information Im sure that you are a very supportive mother and grandmother. But where was He when I was going through this? When my OB got there she said that the baby was already starting to come down the canal. I think the best way for a mama who has never gone through this to minister to one who has, is to give her time to mourn. They loose a child early on in the pregnancy and rather than reveal it, they tuck away the pain and sorrow. Well, if they use platitudes youll have more, God wanted the baby in heaven, etc., at least say that you know they are platitudes and that they dont help, and that you wish there was something you could actually say to help, but you know that nothing will take away the pain. I have 2 children in heaven, one born at 13 weeks and one at 7 weeks and no earthly children yet. But when I know that they cant know anything about it, it just irritates me and makes me feel misunderstood. It was January 5th, of this year, when I lost her when I birthed her. When one of them meets his father or his As I tried to comfort her and keep her calm, she finally broke down and said she wanted to go to the ER. encompasses all things. But I will admit that it is excruciating when your only child is an angel. So while you hate them here, youll view them in a while nother perspective in Jannah. I thought surely this is Gods plan for me, that although I was late in the game, it wasnt too late. the servants of the people of Paradise, who will go around among them with At this time, remind yourself that if Allah means for something to happen, it will. But I still considered it a dream come true. When I wrote my previous comments, I was hurting and angry at God (obviously) but didnt feel like I had a safe place to express that emotion. The main reason I decided to do things on my own was that I knew in a hospital setting I would most likely not be able to see my baby and I felt I needed to for closure. The strongest opinion is that one may have one's children in Jannah that one had during one's life on Earth, but not give birth to a new offspring therein, and no reason was given in any hadith as to why. But, my story goes way, way back to when I was in the womb. I can only imagine your yearning. We had a small funeral for her and there is no way to explain the sight of seeing that tiny little pink coffin. Recently I read that sometimes worshipping God looks like singing His praises, and sometimes it looks like surrendering to His greater wisdom. Be compassionate when we finally conceive again, and are the MOST ANXIOUS pregnant women youll ever meet. God had a plan for me and I was going to follow through. its hard to hear but you still have two, so just be happy! Yes, I have two beautiful babies, but Ive lost several others that I will never hold in my arms or feed from my breast. For example, some places have a walk to remember or a gathering for families at a local cemetery in October, during Infant Loss Awareness month. Our first baby was born into Heaven in December 2010 when I was 7 weeks pregnant. The ultrasound, normally displaying a heartbeat and sweet kicks of a tiny babe, glaringly displayed only an empty sac. Believe it or not theres much more to it. Our little boy was born into this world never touched by the sin of it. Take her family meals. (Source: Ibn Nasir al-Din al-Dimashqi, Bardu al-Akbad an Faqd al-Awlad (The Solace of Livers from the Loss of Children). Id want to look away, yet my eyes were inexplicably drawn to friends bellies growing round with their developing children. It was a cold, calculating experience where the nurse and doctor bantered back and forth as if this was everyday occurrence. There is a difference of opinions on the interpretation of the hadiths on this topic. You are a mama of 4never forget that, Pam! I want to thank you!!! 2 weeks before Christmas 2013 my husband and I lost our 4th child I was due Mothers Day 2014. I was in the living room my mom told her. I could not believe it. The weeks went by slowly and I was just beginning to feel confident that everything was ok. I hope others here can find answers to their losses. Even though I have a wonderful and supportive husband, I feel very alone in this. My husband thought we should wait to try again so we didnt have our next child until 2 years later. We eventually told several friends and family and I am so thankful that we never experienced any negative comments. That was a very kind offer to. Greatly appreciated! The child of Paradise is likened to him because he goes wherever he These small acts mean so much. . I have heard that miscarried children will drag their mothers towards janat. But now I am finally getting over the things but I do remember all the expected due dates to all my pregnancies and it does make things better for me to tell my friends and family that I am the mother of 4 and I always get that look when they just see my son and I have to say I have 1 here on earth with me and I have 3 in heaven as our Guardian Angels. Even today I will shed a few tears, wishing I had a four year old with me. Many people have had such Masses offered for us the past few months, and theyve been really helpful. Her HCG level had gone down. Thats all I needed. Someone who lost a child after birth (25 years after birth) once told me that my pain isnt as bad as hers, and that losing a child after birth is so much harder. Allah has promised that on the Day of Recompense, your child will return to you and not be at peace until he has secured your place in Jannah. And lastly, the good news for parents who lost their child in a miscarriage is to hope and pray to be reunited with your child in Jannah Insha Allah. I also nearly hit a little girl who was riding her bike across the street because my brain didnt register that I needed to stop and let her cross. I think everyone thinks I should just be over it or fine or super spiritual and thankful for Gods blessings in the midst. A mother does not love her baby only at first sight; she loves her baby even before she has seen it! He said, You should name your child because he or she will always be part of your family. Just having someone recognize that we lost a person, not just an idea. He cares so much for me that He allowed me to walk this path for my heart (cardia) healing. I know they were afraid that by bringing it up they would cause me more pain, but that simply wasnt true. I had never even processed the fact that they made caskets so small before I, myself, had to buy one. The day before my appointment, in the early hours of September 11, 2011 I woke up in the worst pain. I am so, so very sorry for the loss of your sweet Eric. They cant. and I had to have it like I was having a live birth. I too wondered if I had the right to grieve. That is when I know that Eddie was hurting for are lost to in the past and he was not a cold heart man. I lost my 1st and my 6th at 12-13 weeks, and my 7th at 6 weeks(So I have 4 living children.) Because Levi is my baby, even if hes no longer with us. Thank you. But also realize that maybe a mother who has lost her baby may need sometime to heal and dont push your babies on them. Hi Britney All I could do was hold him for a few hours and leave the hospital without him. Maybe once and that is it. Because of his death, Luke touched lives of people that never even saw him. I was rushed to the hospital and was lucky that I survived with the amount of blood I lost. They always ask me if I get to see them often, I smile and my response is I have one grandson in Ga, he is two. My husband and I were married for 8 1/2 years, before we found out I was pregnant with my daughter, we had a complicated birth, but have a wonderful healthy princess. I always dreamed of becoming a mother, even as a childI knew it was what I meant to do. Dealing with miscarriage can be a very difficult and lonely journey a mother has to go through. By this time, given my age, we felt IVF would be the route for us. Well I found myself praying over and over again to let me have a miscarriage. Ironically, my sisters two year old just had her birthdayjust a day before Adelyns. And whoever believes in Allah He will guide his heart. The pain and sadness of losing a baby at 9 weeks isnt even close to the pain of losing a 2nd trimester baby. No bleeding and no sign that anything was amiss. I didnt get invited to wedding or baby showers; I wasnt approached to be a babysitter even though I was the only one who could do it at the time and the list goes on. I'm so sorry for your loss. Praying for you in your pain. Thank you for answering this question. Everyone has trials in this life, but yoursyoursto have held the hope of a child without actually getting to hold that child in your arms. I started nurturing my child. It didnt heal our aching arms or our yearning hearts, but it set our minds at ease knowing that he or she was safe and wholeenjoying a quality of life that life hear couldnt provide. So I start my journey on this path with this unwieldy, unyielding cross alongside my brothers and sisters in Christ who are bearing their own crosses. In times like these, that you truly learn who your friends are. A fetus that is miscarried when some of its parts are discernible e.g. Studying Law at Maritime University of Raja Ali Haji. When I did, the next morning, there was a little body that I held in the palm of my hand and we buried in the front yard in the bitter cold of winter. Still, I cant help but wonder about the child that she miscarried, which is how I found your blog post. We were going to announce to our family that we were pregnant on Christmas as a gift, now Im wondering how Im going to handle Christmas day. Our second son was named after his still born uncle and my mother-in-law and most of the rest of the family was thrilled that someone carried the name on. It was a nightmare and I was angry and bitter and confused. One is just in heaven. I was 6 weeks when I began that most hurtful miscarriage due to I had already heard the heart beat and I had saw the sonogram of the baby. I wish I could hug you right now. That someone, maybe even a single lady or a mom of many or a mom dealing with infertility, took time to focus on my struggles and not just their own. I still miss him. blessings of Allaah be upon him) often used to say to his companions: Has She has grieved through miscarriages before, but this was a new level of pain. That always helps to be able to give back. To this day, oldest niece ( who is 7) talks about Adelyn. Im sorry my comment was so very long but it means a lot that people who havent experienced this kind of loss are caring enough to think of those who have. I couldnt stop beating myself up for not coming in sooner and that following mothers day no one acknowledged me . Why don't we use the 7805 for car phone chargers? To those who have experienced loss, rest in the words of Psalm 63: Because You are my help, I sing in the shadow of Your wings. I think the hardest thing for me is the loneliness. I look forward to the day in Heaven when I can hold my grandchild. I can only imagineand I pray the Lord continue to build empathetic hearts in us all. Can Muslims Listen To It? And as far as being a woman coping with this loss, just remember that we arent supposed to understand everything The Lord does. Click the link below to subscribe to our newsletter and get all the latest from Hadith Answers. From a campaign that began in a spare cupboard in St Thomas Hospital, Tommys is now the largest UK charity researching the causes and prevention of pregnancy complications, miscarriage, stillbirth and premature birth. Prayers for you all. Some people were so awesome, just by sympathizing and asking how I was doing and letting me cry without getting freaked out. Losing a baby is one of the hardest things any parent can go through. Yes, we can try for another baby, but I wanted THAT one. One day he said: Last night two people came to me and Hug her as often as shell let you. When my nephew was born, my mom posted a bajillion pictures on facebook of her first grandbaby! like mine didnt count. Thank you for much for sharing your story and for giving us tips on what to say. Soon I hope to be a mother here on earth. Oh, and if you are Catholic, like us, have a Mass offered, even like once a year, in honour of the child and to help the family. It was pretty amazing. The Mothers day after he passed came around and I was greeted with silence.. because people didnt want to bring it up.. they didnt want to upset me, or remind me. I am a mother. could hardly see his head in the sky. It was also at that point that I was told it was weird that I would think of it as a baby, at my guess I lost my baby at about 6-7 weeks. Still my child). Im usually a very private person, but for some reason I wanted to talk about my baby, and of course cry, with my loved ones. WebOur story. They lift my shirt and rub my belly and I have to remind them that the baby went to heaven. Al-Manaawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Meaning: they wander around in Paradise and enter its houses, And I feel for my poor parents who would have made such excellent grandparents. Also, because we have 6 living children we get all sorts comments about our family size and such. We lost my son to it and came close to losing his little sister to it as well. Which ability is most related to insanity: Wisdom, Charisma, Constitution, or Intelligence? I had just come home from an emergency D&C. Damoos also refers to the Love, compassion and empathy are all thats needed. I had to use sick days at work after my miscarriage, while a co-workers second-cousin-in-law passed away at the same time and he got bereavement leave. As a general rule, you have to avoid hair treatments and products that contain chemicals like parabens, DEA or sulfates. Facebook really means brag book to some people. I may have had a few more very early miscarriages but my husband hated buying tests and insisted I not test until I was very late. My mom might have had one or two as she ran later always and soemtimes had horrible cramping and huge clots. I give this advice with the assumption that youre close. Create an account or log in to participate. Call our children by name. So I although I grieved, I knew I couldnt tell anyone. Adelyn just had her third birthday. By Him in whose hands is my life, a child will pull its mother to Jannah if she is patient. I think its important to recognize and honor the little life regardless of how long they remained on this earth. My son, Payton, was stillborn at 34 weeks gestation. On Sunday it was over. I never imagined that would be the case because the pain of his loss was unfathomable. We decided to take action and My life was all complete Loosing a child is difficult at 3 weeks is hard enough. It was also narrated by Imam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 2/315, from Abu I had a feeling early on that I might not carry to term yet held out hope and prayed and expected the best outcome. children of Muslims who die in this world. (Daniel and I wanted 10 kids as well!) Its the acknowledgement that I lost my son from peope I care about and their ability to understand that I need to feel like my life can get to back to some form of normal that is most important to me these days. Why would God take my baby? She did not do this, as a parent, or as a nurse. Things may not be going well, and I definitely am not okay, but I am blessed beyond measure and I will rejoice in the Lord reguardless of my circumstances. Im just a little baby, That is life and I fully believe our babies are in heaven. Amanda, Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. I am devastated and angry at God. I hated hearing the comments that were intended to be comforting like Kandle described. Please select a reason for escalating this post to the WTE moderators: Connect with our community members by starting a discussion. years.. I miscarried at 10 weeks and the physical effects of the miscarriage were incredibly difficult. I cannot fathom her painnor can she fathom yours. It did. Now things are different. 2021willbedifferent. I didnt lose a fetus, I lost a child. Parabolic, suborbital and ballistic trajectories all follow elliptic paths. Though this was many years ago, I didnt think too much about it but it affected my husband. Love you <3 behind this post. Its true, if you havent been through it, you cant comprehend how it feels. Sometimes we just need to talk, and it is okay for you to say that you dont know what to say, but you wish something could somehow help. And everyone grieves differently. But know that we cant bear to see 17 thousand of them! I really needed to hear that. No one is comforted by platitudes such as, it was Gods will, the baby must have been deformed, or maybe you have enough children Just be Gods hands and feet. Only a few years ago did we start talking openly about it and begin to heal. I lost my last 4 pregnancies. Answer: Alaykum S alam, See Miscarriage Loss of a child at Living Islam. Two years later I had my first miscarriage, then the next year I had a little girl, Rachel, who was stillborn. I have two babies in heaven and have experienced so much through miscarriage. When we lost our first baby, everyone around us knew about it, and one of the most appreciated things was the card that simply said Im so sorry for the loss of your baby. Dannys mom, you have put it in a way I could never do better. Thank you for the life you gave me Messenger of Allaah, what about the children of the mushrikeen? He said: I hear so many hurtful things from people who think they are helping. I have days that are a real emotional struggle, but do understand that my Joy is in Christ, and He has a plan for us all. And the children of the mushrikeen. Narrated by al-Bukhaari (7047). I keep my faith and move on and we were with child 12 weeks later. By studying the texts which speak of the situation of Muslim I can honestly say those have been the most painful comments Ive received. I never thought about it this way. <3 Julie, wise, wise words of advice. When we drove away from the hospital the next day I bawled. Thank you for making me feel not as alone. The hardest thing for me was not being able to fix this for my kids. As a mom, we try to protect our children from any pain. I believe the most hurtful thing anyone said to me was at church as her two beautiful children where running around playing a lady told me I know exactly how you feel I lost one. I hope to see my baby in jannah Inshaallah.. It counted to me and my husband. But after two consecutive miscarriages when I got pregnant again I was not a ball of sunshine and excitement. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. I think perhaps finding scripture that fits the situation, as well as comforting direction towards Gods big plan, would be helpful as well (after an appropriate amount of time). We lost our first child, a son, to stillbirth at 36 1/2 weeks. I was able to hold my first child, even though he passed away during birth. They honestly didnt know what to say. Hurayrah, and classed as hasan by the commentators. I take comfort in knowing my Mom has wrapped her arms around this baby. At the ripe old age of 38, I did feel God move my heart to have children. The best advice I can give to you is to just be present with her. Just so She was early enough along that there was nothing to bury. I walked back to my little cubby and kept it in. Its definitely given me a desire for Heaven. a I wish this didnt happen to us and that our boys were okay. I did receive some kind words from my extended family. I have also had friends try to tell me to put it in Gods hands and to stop stressing because its bad for the baby. I am so sorry for both of your losses. I hope someone gains something from it. Like in Jannah you get whatever you want. Lord knows she needs it. Let us be angry, let us be discouraged, let us loose sight of hope. This was stated clearly in the report of Abu Saeed al-Khudri God bless. The one big thing that my losses took from me was the joy of a positive pregnancy test. Im honestly looking forward to going to one coming up on March 14. So often someone has a death or losses a baby and people are all around right after it happens, but soon everyone goes back to their normal life and the grieving person feels alone or like they have to be ok because everyone else is. It was brief but dont complain There were 4 children in my dream; 2 girls and 2 boys. Thank you for sharing your story and arming us with some great ways to minister! I have a necklace that I had made MYFOREVERCHILD with his handprint on it that I never take off. Blessings. I dont know your situation, but according to the rules of Jannah, the enemy of yours will be your friend in Jannah. Amen. When I lost my 2nd baby most of my female friends were pregnant or had just had babies and yet instead of avoiding me they surrounded me with more love and care than I could ever imagine. I just lost my baby last week, and I am clinging to the hope that I will hold her (we believe it was a "her" :) ) in heaven. But honestly I am so glad when people say I have no idea what your going through its a comfort knowing they have never had to go through such hard times. The medical profession has been a Red Herring for life, thriving, wellness and wholeness for me and mine. After my second miscarriage I started a blog in the hopes of opening up peoples minds to what it really feels like to experience miscarriage. We were told by the OB to wait for two months before trying again. I feel like you expressed exactly what is in my heart, but I could never form into words. Half of my family was sympathetic, half had no idea what I was crying about, and no one understood my pain. Unfortunately I found that people were more sympathetic when I lost my 22 year old than when I only miscarried. the miscarried foetus into whom the soul had been breathed will remain as he in paradise so all the grudges, family conflicts youve had in this world will no longer exist in paradise. With the first miscarriage I started spotting at 9 weeks. They were in petri dishes next to each other, and now he doesn't exist. I would go over every single detail I have two friends who lost their first child, one at 7 months gestation and another 14 days after birth and I can see how it was absolutely devastating to them. Someone gave it to my Mom when she my youngest brother and I remembered it and made her dig it out of her archives. My only confirmed miscarriage happened on Feb 5, 2012. Thank you for your words they mean a lot to me. If the baby had been named, use the babys name. I feel I could have written what you wrote.. maybe not so eloquently, but with all of the emotion and understanding. One here on earth and one born into heaven. We produced sixteen embryos in all (Sixteen!) I would love my child no matter what!). We have one child we have adopted so far and Im so thankful. I learned a lot personally through this horrible time in my life, but one thing I learned is how to better help other women going through miscarriage. Last Mothers day was the first Mothers day I experienced after I lost my son. My baby was born premature healthy, but just too tiny. Let me talk about him openly, even it makes you feel uncomfortable. There is good news though the miscarriage happened nearly 3 years ago and, with the help of a little progesterone, my wife became pregnant again the following month. I was still nursing my 1 year old but could not nurse her for the whole week because of the pain meds I had to take. I am so, so sorry youre going through this, Jayssika! There were two things in particular throughout this process that were particularly comforting to me. Thank you for your sensitive and honest thoughts. Thank you for this post! We shared a bondthe loss of a child. I LOVE that the lady acknowledged that! As time goes on, I know (Heaven is Real) that my other son is waiting for me in Heaven, and I dont want him to be without a name. I can only imagine how hard it would be to explain to the kidsmine are close to that age as well. My water broke at 22.3 so I moved into the hospital and hoped that I would make it to the important markers (22.5, 24, 29, 34). There will be no hatred, envy, jealousy, anger, etc. I wouldnt stop bleeding and was so weak I had to crawl to the car. That has brought me great peace. He knows what my undiagnosed/untreated medical/health issues have been, that I am finally putting the pieces of the puzzle together in my 50th decade, well past the age of child bearing. I tell people, the best thing I can think of, is to say my babys name, and dont be afraid to talk about her, to ask me how Im doing (and honestly care), and to pray for me. It was only the beginning of a whole new world; one that I had never counted on. Refrain from trying to make sense of the tragedy. As someone who has also lost a baby several hours after birth, you said it SO well! We wonder at 5 years and 20 years and 50 years what the child would have done at that point had they lived. My sweet baby, Tzeitel, my only child, went to Heaven at 8 weeks gestation, June 7, 2012. She and other women with thyroid conditions are getting the word out how much this disease can affect fertility. Im so sorry that you had friends who would say things like that to you. In Jannah you can be with people who you like, not people who you don't love. I actually saw that happen on facebook a few days ago. I will offer resources, such as the book by Dr. Jack Hayford, Ill Hold You in Heaven. I will encourage others to do the same, especially those who call themselves pro-life. Abortion as we know it today was not practiced in biblical times, and the Bible never specifically mentions the issue of abortion. She was my first girl and I didnt have any girl things really. And He knew what was on the other side of death!! I am still healing. The last 6 weeks have been the longest weeks of my life. It makes me feel alone. Dont shush her. That HURTS! Log in, Join our e-mail list for regular site news and updates, All Rights Reserved for Islam Q&A 1997-2023, My wife was pregnant with twins and on the day the babies were due, her waters broke, so she went to the doctor who told her that one of the twins had died shortly before because he had drunk some of the water in which he was swimming in the uterus. Also hearing people say their kids are getting on their nerves or just being fed up I always wish I could have a baby bothering me and everyone says u will see when he gets here.

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